Reasonable accommodations are for actual disabilities, not unhinged conspiracies

If I've learned one thing from my 25+ years of practicing law it's that when a court describes your arguments as a "rambling and hyperbolic tirade," your goose is cooked. 

This is the story of Meltzer v. The Trial Court of the Commonwealth, by John Bello, Administrator. 

Today is your LAST chance to vote for 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟮

If you haven't yet cast your ballot for The Worst Employer of 2022, time is quickly running out. Polls close at the end of today. 

In case you need a refresher on the seven finalists, here they are (in alphabetical order):

B-i-t-c-h spells dismissal

We're a team, we need to work together. Maybe we need to have a department meeting where we workshop with each other and really get to know each other. There's going to be days where you're going to be a B-I-T-C-H and there's going to be days where [the female servers] [are] going to be anxious and flip out and you need to be able to calm them down and get them what they need and not taking things personally so that they don't reflect of an image of you that may not be fully accurate.

That's what Tina Braunstein, a bartender working at The Plaza Hotel, claims one of her supervisors, Martin Mariano, told her during her 60-day review. When the hotel terminated her employment shortly thereafter and during her probationary period, she pointed to Mariano's spelling of "b-i-t-c-h" as evidence of his sexually discriminatory motive.

A tale of two employee nondisclosure agreements

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…." This is perhaps the most famous opening line in the history of literature, A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens. It's also an apt description of how two tech giants—Apple and Twitter—recently handled the issue of employee nondisclosure agreements.

WIRTW #653: the “playlist” edition

Last Friday, after sharing the Old 97's new holiday classic from the Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special, I asked LinkedIn for their favorite holiday songs. My LinkedIn community delivered in a major way. So today, I am thrilled to be able to share with you Jon Hyman's LinkedIn Crowdsourced Holiday Music Playlist Extravaganza. 

It's 42 songs spread over 2 hour, 27 minutes of eclectic rock, punk, country, pop, rap, and classical holiday standards and songs that will now be standards for your holidays. 

It's available to stream on Apple Music and Spotify. Shuffle, repeat, and jingle all the way through the holiday season.

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If you haven't already voted for The Worst Employer of 2022, what are you waiting for? Polls remain open until 14-Dec. 

VOTE HERE.

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Here's what I read and listened to this past week that you should also read and listen to.

Musings on dead dogs and terminated managers

We are no longer taking ANY EXCUSE for calling off. If you're sick, you need to come prove it to us. If your dog died, you need to bring him in and prove it to us. If it's a "family emergency," too bad. Go work somewhere else.

That was part of a written message an Olive Garden manager in Kansas recently delivered to his staff. The message that Olive Garden corporate delivered to that manager — "You're fired."

What should you do when the DOL shows up at your door?

"I'm an investigator with the Wage and Hour Division of the Department of Labor. I'm here to conduct an investigation into how your pay your employees." He then shows you his badge, and asks to see the following:

Records showing the business's annual dollar volume of transactions in in interstate commerce to establish that the DOL has jurisdiction; and

Payroll and time records for the past three years. 

With that, you're off the races in a DOL wage and hour investigation. The investigator will seek to determine if you've properly classified your employees as exempt or non-exempt, and if you've met your minimum wage and overtime obligations.

What do you do now?