Monday, March 27, 2023

What does an AI-written employee handbook look like?

Last week, I spoke at our sold out Wickens Workshop. The topic — employee handbooks.

As is the case whenever I speak on that topic, I was sure to make a point about the risks and dangers of relying on internet forms to craft your company's handbook … or as I put it, "Google, J.D."

Which led me to this thought — what happens when people start asking AI bots to write their handbooks?

So, I asked Bard, Google's new AI, to write me an employee handbook. Here's the very underwhelming result.

Employee Handbook

Welcome to the team! We're excited to have you on board. This handbook will provide you with an overview of our company's policies and procedures. Please take some time to read it carefully and let us know if you have any questions.

Company Overview

Our company is a leading provider of [product or service] in the [industry] industry. We were founded in [year] and have been growing rapidly ever since. We are a team of [number] employees who are passionate about what we do.

Company Culture

We believe that our employees are our greatest asset. We strive to create a positive and productive work environment where everyone feels valued and respected. We encourage our employees to be creative and innovative, and we provide them with the resources and support they need to succeed.

Employee Conduct

We expect our employees to conduct themselves in a professional and ethical manner at all times. This includes treating customers and colleagues with respect, being honest and trustworthy, and avoiding any conflicts of interest.

Legal Aspects of Employment

We are committed to complying with all applicable laws and regulations. This includes providing our employees with a safe and healthy work environment, paying them fairly, and providing them with the benefits they are entitled to.

Benefits

We offer a comprehensive benefits package to our employees, including health insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance, 401(k) plan, paid time off, and more.

Company Processes

We have a number of company processes in place to help our employees be successful. These include our employee onboarding process, our performance review process, and our disciplinary process.

Questions

If you have any questions about this handbook or about our company, please do not hesitate to ask your manager or our Human Resources department.

Thank you for choosing to work for our company!

There is SO much missing.

  • At-will disclaimer
  • Anti-Harassment
  • Equal employment opportunity
  • Reasonable accommodation
  • Attendance
  • FMLA
  • PTO
  • Overtime and timekeeping
  • Drug testing
  • Social media and technology
  • Remote work 
  • Safety
  • Weapons and violence
  • And on, and on, and on.

It looks like my job is safe … at least for now.